Registering Right

Ok, so big news. T and her fiance just bought their first house! It's a lovely brick townhome in Alexandria, VA, and I have to admit, as a puppy aunt, I'm thrilled that Kody has more room to play.

I know what you're thinking -- What perfect timing! (So maybe that's not exactly what you were thinking, but let's pretend). T's previous apartment was cute, but a little cramped for an influx of bridal shower and wedding gifts. Now that we don't have to worry about storing brand new china under the bed, I'm feeling much more fabulous about helping her register.

The first thing T needs to do is figure out what she needs. This will make it easier, when she gets that little registry stunt-gun in her hands, to separate the "needs" from "wants." Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with a few wants. She also needs to figure out colors, and pick a sort of theme (aka modern, classic, country-home-ish, etc.).

A friend of mine who is getting married next week recommended Bed, Bath & Beyond as a great place to register. Not only does BB&B give you a discount on items on your registry that are remaining (think eight-piece place setting and you only receive six). If that doesn't work for you, they give CASH BACK for all items that you don't want, or realize, four teapots and a martini shaker later, that you don't need. Not to mention, my friend's fiance was excited at the prospect of the "Beyond" section. Bed? eh. Bath? eh. Beyond? Now you're talkin'.

FOR THE GIVER:
The question has come up more than once if it's OK to buy a couple something that's not on their registry. My answer is yes, as long as you're not just buying it because it's on sale. If you see something that would be particularly meaningful for the soon-to-be newlyweds, then by all means, give away. Just be sure that it has a receipt, in case you don't know your friend's taste as well as you think you do, or if they already have something like it that you weren't aware of.

Can you give cash? Well, sure, depending on who is throwing the wedding and where. In some cultures, cash is expected, and is usually brought to the wedding in envelopes and left in some sort of box or special bag. But beware - in many social circles, giving cash is bad form, and wedding gifts should be send directly to the couple so that the ceremony doesn't include a pile of wrapped boxes in the corner. Also, since many couples leave directly for their honeymoon, it puts an extra burden on their family members to have to bring home the gifts after a night of drinking and dancing.

FOR THE RECEIVER:
When registering, it's also not a bad idea to keep all your guests in mind, and to have a variety of stores that have, well, a variety of price ranges. In other words, having Target, Crate & Barrel and Fortunoff as registry options gives friends and family the option to spend what they feel is appropriate, or even more, what they can comfortably afford.

As always, happy planning...