The Dress... No, the other one

We've all heard stories about the dress. You know what I'm talking about. It's pink. It has poofy sleeves. It makes you look 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier. Yup, it's the dress for the bridesmaid, and it's about as pretty as a jellyfish.

Lucky for me, my sister isn't a sadist and supports bridesmaids' rights. She promises no floor-length gowns that look like prom dresses from 1998. She scoffs at bridal catalogs with super-trendy, ultra-cheesy, canary yellow and sun-kissed orange frocks. She even threw out the line -- the line every bridesmaid wants to hear, and believe. "I want to get something you can all wear again."

The term "wear again" is a tricky one, ain't it girls? Wear again does not mean " if you take it to the dressmaker and get it cut and hemmed." It does not mean "maybe if you put a belt with it" or "it could totally be dressed down with the right jacket -- if you're idea of dressed down is looking like you're back in college taking the walk of shame after a fraternity semi-formal."

The definition of "wear again" should be this: It's a basic color. It's a basic cut. It's not made of cheap satin, polyester, or anything else that screams bridal bin. It doesn't have crazy bows or pin-on flowers. Think simple. Think classy. Think "I want my friends to still talk to me after the wedding."

This was the dress I had initially suggested. It's from Jcrew.com, which has an adorable selection of bridesmaid dresses that fit into the "wear again" category with almost no effort. Here's a photo:

Cute, right? But picking a dress isn't that easy. My sister has six bridesmaids, and it goes without saying that different women feel, well, different, in certain cuts and colors. And so begins the bridesmaid dress emails, which are a series of messages with links to websites for bridesmaid dresses. At least two or three people will like the same dress. Maybe even four, and on a miraculous occasion, five. But getting six women to unanimously agree on a dress would be like getting Congress to unanimously agree on a plan for Iraq.

The tip would be this: If you're the bride, pick the dress yourself. Think about your wedding day, about what you want as far as color and style, and if your friends are close enough to you to be part of your wedding party, they should be close enough to wear whatever makes your day perfect for you. If you have some sort of super-sympathetic complex going on, maybe from your own bridesmaid dress experiences, pick out a selection of two or three dresses that would make you equally happy and have your bridesmaids choose from that.

The other option (and JCrew is great for this -- even though I sound like an advertisement here) is to pick out a color from one retailer and let your bridesmaids pick their own cuts. Got a size zero flat-chested maid? No problem. Go with the strapless. Double-D's and killer hips? Stay clear of halters and let her show off her sexy curves with something high-cut and fitted.

If nothing else, this should make you feel better. Ladies and gentlemen (yeah, like any guys are reading this), a website featuring the WORST bridesmaids dresses ever:

http://www.uglydress.com/

Happy planning...

The Venue

(PHOTOS: Hotel Monaco - Alexandria, VA)
T called me down to Alexandria, VA (destination for the wedding - please, no paparazzi), to help her search out the best location for her wedding. Like any bride, she first had to decide a few things:

1.) What would her budget be for food, beverage and venue?
2.) Is the venue in an accessible location for out-of-town guests?
3.) How many guests was she planning on having (aka, how big of a room would she need)?
4.) Was there an outside-caterer she had her heart set on using? (most hotels do their own catering, and many also include specific vendors for cake/flowers/music)

The questions were all a little overwhelming for T, who decided we should just drive to old town and figure it out from there. The first place she took me to was a brand-new Hilton. The hotel itself was fine, but when we saw the ballroom, I immediately gave it the bridesmaid thumbs-down. The room was dark and not very wide. It reminded of me of an office. Not exactly the type of atmosphere that screamed "Romance."

T was a little discouraged. But like any robust bride & bridesmaid team, we kept on trucking. As we drove further down King St., we came upon a series of cute boutiques, shops, bars and restaurants. This was already a plus considering that most guests were coming from out of town, and so they'd be looking to make a weekend out of T's wedding extravaganza (I'm channeling my inner Zha-Zha Gabor, pay no attention).

Right in the middle of this bar/ice cream shop/brick-sidewalk town is a brand new Hotel Monaco. We immediately had a good feeling when we could park the car for 10 dollars. The feeling only got better when a super friendly wedding planner came out to greet us and showed us a sample room (the hotel is under construction but will be done way before W-Day), the courtyard, a menu, and of course the ballroom. The whole thing was fantastic. T right away started asking about food -- how many appetizers she could have, what the price would be to substitute different brands of alcohol. I, on the other hand, spent the hour trying to find out how many rooms we could get at a discount and if there'd be space for an eight-piece band. I'm never practical in my own life, but when it comes to T's wedding, I'm like those old ladies who reuse teabags.

And so there you have it - Hotel Monaco it is. Now that we've got the venue, we can get on with the details!

As always, happy planning...