The A-List

T's wedding is becoming about as difficult to get into as one of those overpriced, overhyped clubs in the Meatpacking District (not that there's any overhype here -- and T's wedding will not resemble a dimly lit drunk makeout tank like some A-list NYC hangouts). But having to cut a lifetime of family and friends down to 150 people has everyone in the wedding posse contantly talking about THE LIST. Yes, that's right, the guest list -- don't trip on the velvet rope, folks.

Of course, T would love to invite everyone to the wedding, but going into major debt over a one-night affair makes about as much sense as wearing a black thong with white pants. Not to mention the fact that having 300 people there on W-day might make for a grand entrance, but definitely can make things feel less intimate.

So now THE LIST has become a bargaining tool between my parents. My mother has a large family and thus got a little extra love when it comes to invites. My dad on the other hand is hoping to snag a few sorry-we'd-love-to-make-it-but-can't-that-weekend openings to invite a few of his friends (It's a big day for dads, too, and the photo of walking his daughter down the aisle doesn't quite capture the real-life moment for his friends. Men = secret wedding saps).

T started with the "must haves", the wedding equivalent of the A-List. This includes parents, grandmas, immediate family, and lifelong friends. Then there's cousins, other close friends, and maybe a coworker or two. This all leads up to the big question: To allow dates, or to now allow dates.

The rule of thumb is this: If a friend is married, it's rude not to invite his or her spouse to the wedding as well. Same goes for engaged couples. If a friend is living with his or her significant other, then it's still polite to invite both people since the invitation will arrive at their address. Everybody else? Do yourself a favor and don't pick who gets to bring a date and who doesn't. Either invite all your friends "with a guest" or invite them all solo. The only exception to this is when both the bride and groom are friends with BOTH people in couple, in which case its fine to invite both because you'd be sending them invites anyway. OR, make a rule that only people in the wedding party can bring dates (ooh, the bridesmaid selection just got trickier!)

In the end, however, diplomacy is key. Most couples can't afford or don't want invite every person they've ever known, but that doesn't mean you won't be confronted on it. If someone asks why he or she wasn't invited, or if someone who isn't invited assumes the invitation is on the way, just be as kind and polite as possible. Something along the lines of, "We would have loved to invite everyone but we both have such big families," or "Our dream has always been to have the day be a small, intimate affair, but we appreciate your well wishes" is perfectly fair and appropriate.

The good news is this...for those who do get invited, there's no line!

As always, happy planning!

Playing Favor-ites

So this bridesmaid is on the hunt for the perfect bridal shower favors, and let me tell you ladies, it's a tacky, plastic, almonds-in-pink-boxes jungle out there. When my sister and I threw my mom's bridal shower a few years back, we got all the guests flip-flop picture frames to go with the beach theme (Mom got remarried on a beach in Hawaii wearing a floral-print dress...she doesn't mess around).

But T's wedding is old school -- church, ballroom, Cinderella gown and champagne -- and so there's no clear theme for the shower, which means this bridesmaid is going with a classy, basic pallet. Now the challenge is finding favors for 30 women that are the perfect mix of cute and stylish without being, well, incredibly expensive. I mean let's be real, what are the chances this bridal shower gift is going to go on to have a life as a cherished heirloom? It's greatest potential is that it will A) End up on a kid's playroom floor, or B) Become some sort of bathroom decoration.

That being said, I still want guests to have a little something to take home. My first instinct was clear little bags of candy. This can be done relatively on the cheap. Just buy cute bags, fill them with goodies (you can go with "sugar" themes -- like sour fruit flavored gummies or maybe just different chocolates), and tie each bag with a cute ribbon. For a little something extra, you can order or make up stickers with a saying like "Sweet of you join us" (admit, a bit cheesy, but it's a bridal shower, what do you want, Shakespeare?)

I also searched through several websites with little picture frames, candles, and other goodies worthy of bridal shower parting gifts, and these are the two of the better ones:

http://www.weddingfavorites.com/
http://www.beau-coup.com/bridal_shower_favors.htm

If you're having a smaller gathering and/or a bigger budget, small tote bags filled with favorites of the bride-to-be is also a great option. Or, if the wedding is themed or seasonal, go with something that reflects the overall decor. Christmas wedding? Maybe give each guest a specialized ornament. Destination wedding? Go with a small city guide book, canvas passport holders or something a little off-the-beaten-bridal path, like a travel beauty pack with lip balm, sunscreen, Evian facial mist (for that in-flight skin dehydration) and a edible goody native to the region/island/country where the wedding is taking place.

If you live in a city with a Chinatown (gotta love New York), that can be a great place to gather up inexpensive goodies to give to guests as well. And if you don't? Well, there's always Target.

Happy Planning...

The Venue

(PHOTOS: Hotel Monaco - Alexandria, VA)
T called me down to Alexandria, VA (destination for the wedding - please, no paparazzi), to help her search out the best location for her wedding. Like any bride, she first had to decide a few things:

1.) What would her budget be for food, beverage and venue?
2.) Is the venue in an accessible location for out-of-town guests?
3.) How many guests was she planning on having (aka, how big of a room would she need)?
4.) Was there an outside-caterer she had her heart set on using? (most hotels do their own catering, and many also include specific vendors for cake/flowers/music)

The questions were all a little overwhelming for T, who decided we should just drive to old town and figure it out from there. The first place she took me to was a brand-new Hilton. The hotel itself was fine, but when we saw the ballroom, I immediately gave it the bridesmaid thumbs-down. The room was dark and not very wide. It reminded of me of an office. Not exactly the type of atmosphere that screamed "Romance."

T was a little discouraged. But like any robust bride & bridesmaid team, we kept on trucking. As we drove further down King St., we came upon a series of cute boutiques, shops, bars and restaurants. This was already a plus considering that most guests were coming from out of town, and so they'd be looking to make a weekend out of T's wedding extravaganza (I'm channeling my inner Zha-Zha Gabor, pay no attention).

Right in the middle of this bar/ice cream shop/brick-sidewalk town is a brand new Hotel Monaco. We immediately had a good feeling when we could park the car for 10 dollars. The feeling only got better when a super friendly wedding planner came out to greet us and showed us a sample room (the hotel is under construction but will be done way before W-Day), the courtyard, a menu, and of course the ballroom. The whole thing was fantastic. T right away started asking about food -- how many appetizers she could have, what the price would be to substitute different brands of alcohol. I, on the other hand, spent the hour trying to find out how many rooms we could get at a discount and if there'd be space for an eight-piece band. I'm never practical in my own life, but when it comes to T's wedding, I'm like those old ladies who reuse teabags.

And so there you have it - Hotel Monaco it is. Now that we've got the venue, we can get on with the details!

As always, happy planning...

Puppy Love

No, not like the first guy you dated in high school. Since getting a new house and planning a wedding isn't enough, my sister also decided to get a puppy. Wedding planning is even lower on the list now that she's got pee to clean up off the rug. But...I have to say...as far as puppies go, Kody might just be as cute as they come!

I promised I wouldn't be one of those crazy women who posts photos of her pets, but here I am...even crazier...because I'm putting up pictures of my sister's pet. If anyone is still reading at this point, the photo on the left is Kody and me when I was on assignment in Washington, DC (where my sister and her husband-to-be live). The second is Kody posing near the Washington Monument (clearly).

Of course the question has come up whether or not it's a good idea to have Kody in the wedding. For now, I'm thinking no. Here's why:

1.) Some of the guests might be allergic. Even more, someone in the what-is-starting-to-look-southern bridal party (who will be close to the bride, and hence, the pooch) could be allergic.
2.) Picking up dog poo on your wedding day isn't fantastic. It might make the bride smell, like, well, you know. And even if someone else is willing to pick up up the stuff, doggie-poo bags are never a good accessory. No, not even for the bridesmaid.
3.) Most dogs aren't well-trained enough not to pee/jump/hump on things...like the wedding guests.
4.) Since the couple surely isn't going to be up walking the dog at 6 a.m., who will? I know what you're thinking. Don't even go there.

Don't think I'm insensitive. I like dogs. I'm a good puppy aunt. Just not on W-day. Then again, if Kody gets any more adorable, I might change my mind.


And now for your viewing pleasure, YouTube has a video of dogs marrying, um, each other:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0Ve4zFvzAA


As always, happy planning...

Let the Games Begin

So it's 2008. The year of Mice (according to the Chinese zodiac, and apparently a little critter that snuck through a crack in my "shabby chic" NYC apartment). And of course, it's the year of my sister's wedding (that's me and the "T" in the photo). I have a life of my own, but this isn't about me. Ok, it is about me a little bit (I am, after all, "my sister's bridesmaid"), but it's mostly about THE WEDDING.

I promise not to write that out in all caps and purple again. It's jarring, no?

Here's the deal -- my sister doesn't particularly care about the flowers, or the cake, or the colors of the bridesmaid dresses. She's not concerned with mood lighting or where to have the rehearsal dinner. Good thing for her, I am. Super bridesmaid! The best sister in the world! (See, I told you, totally not about me).

The only problem is that I haven't done this before. I'm not married, or engaged, or even really very good at relationships. BUT, I have a saavy sense of where to find all-things fabulous. I work in the sports world (still not about me) and therefore get very excited about the rare opportunity to talk all-things girly and wedding-ish.

So here you'll find out everything I find out up until the big day. There will be tips, rants and raves about all things wedding, and (for us single ladies) all things bridesmaid.

Do you hear those wedding bells? (Me neither. Probably just my Beatles "Love Me Do" cell phone ring stuck in my head.)

The jokes are likely just to get worse from here. But oh well, happy planning!